Test de personalitate!


Internetu e plin de teste de personalitate.
Printre ele,unul care verifica cat si cum ai “trait”.
Am hotarat sa il aplic existentei mele.
Rezultatul : slab/foarte slab. Pe ce lume oi fi trait pana acum? 
 
01) Bought everyone in the pub a drink – Adica “ba,beti,ca-i pe banii mei?”. No. Sunt zgarcit.
02) Swam with wild dolphins – Nu ca nu mi-ar placea,dar am invatat sa inot recent. Un dezavantaj ar fi si pozitionarea geografica.
03) Climbed a mountain – Un “mountain” de cativa metri se pune? :)) In cazul asta,m-am urcat pe acoperis.
04) Taken a Ferrari for a test drive – Michael can rest safe.
05) Been inside the Great Pyramid – Deja se furasera si urmele deschizatorilor de morminte.
06) Held a tarantula. – Au,tarantulo!
07) Taken a candlelit bath with someone – Nu,dar am vazut Eurotrip.
08) Said ‘I love you’ and meant it – I…can’t do it.I’m sorry. :)))
09) Hugged a tree – Asta e prea simplu.
10) Done a striptease – si de cate ori. You should have seen me undressing like a dork.
11) Bungee jumped – AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Nu.
12) Visited Paris – Cel mai aproape de Paris am fost in Viena.
13) Watched a lightning storm at sea – si dup-aia am naufragiat pe o insula si am fost platit pentru 7 sezoane,dar am fost omorat intr-al doilea.
14) Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise – In Vama ,cand toata lumea are chef de sacrificii.
15) Seen the Northern Lights – lumina de la bricheta tinuta inspre nord?
16) Gone to a huge sports game – Finala campionatului pe scolii,clasa a VIII-a. Am huiduit cat m-au tinut plamanii. Echipa “noastra” a pierdut.
17) Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa – bine ca nu trebuia sa-l si indrept.
18) Grown and eaten your own vegetables – poate cand ma jucam de-a mama si de-a tata.
19) Touched an iceberg – prea mult “Titanic” creeaza monstri.
20) Slept under the stars – am,si nu e atat de romantic precum se zice. Fugiti d-aici.
21) Changed a baby’s diaper – Am asistat.
22) Taken a trip in a hot air balloon – alaturi de Philleas Fogg.
23) Watched a meteor shower – si am ras diabolic,tinand in mana cartea de magie neagra.
24) Gotten drunk on champagne – Da,de doua ori. Lame,nu?
25) Given more than you can afford to charity – If I COULD afford a new used guitar,then we’d be talking.
26) Looked up at the night sky through a telescope – am vazut “Smallville”.
27) Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment – oho. Teachers are living proof. Dar “worst possible moment” a fost cand bateam cu pumnii in podea in timp ce langa mine unu si cu una discutau despre posibilitatea avortului.
28) Had a food fight – Just bread fight.
29) Bet on a winning horse – Sunt mai norocos decat presupune intrebarea asta,asa ca o s-o notez cu “Da”.
30) Taken a sick day when you’re not ill – faza amuzanta e ca atunci cand faceam asta,ma imbolnaveam.
31) Asked out a stranger – Stranger,please get out.
32) Had a snowball fight – De multe ori,toate memorabile.
33) Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier – De unde si fantezia asta?E asa de plictisitor sa lucrezi cu niste hartii? Jet Lag Jemini,don’t answer that.
34) Screamed as loudly as you possibly can – in Timisoara,piata Unirii,am strigat intr-o zi “AAAAAAA” si intr-o alta doar “Roargh”.
35) Held a lamb – mi-a fost oferita o urare telefonica,”sa-mi belesti mielu”.
36) Enacted a favorite fantasy – oh,da. Multe,multe. I basically do that every day. Every fucken day.
37) Taken a midnight skinny dip – iarasi la mare,iarasi experimente. De data asta nu eram cu nimeni.
38) Taken an ice cold bath – Da ce-aveam? Mi-a fost de ajuns midnight skinny dip.:)))
39) Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar – cu un aurolac,de fapt. Timisoara,piata Unirii,scena,noapte ploioasa.
40) Seen a total eclipse – just the total eclipse of the heart. ah,si aia din ’99?
41) Ridden a roller coaster – Am borat dupa 7 minute intr-un WC mizerabil.
42) Hit a home run – Romania.
43) Fit three weeks miraculously into three days – Am facut inversul de multe ori.
44) Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking – Incerc sa ma las.
45) Adopted an accent for an entire day – la scoala,colegii obisnuiau sa ma intrebe “Ba,da tu nu te saturi niciodata?” legat de acentul meu scotian de rahat.
46) Visited the birthplace of your ancestors – nu,dar s-a inventat un automobil cu numele locului si asta imi face meseria mai usoara.
47) Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment – Is this the filler question of the pack? What do you think?
48) Had two hard drives for your computer – Si daca as fi avut,as fi fost mult mai implinit.
49) Visited all 50 states of USA – 50? I wanna go directly to Canada.
50) Loved your job for all accounts – never had a job.
51) Taken care of someone who was shit faced – Aoleu. Shit faced? Adica avea fata de cacat? DIN cacat? Sau e o expresie de-aia d-a voastra,America? Shit faced. HA! Am avut grija de unchiu-meu dupa ce s-a imbatat,l-am asezat pe pat si arata al dracului de tare precum Corneliu Vadim-Tudor. Se pune?
52) Had enough money to be truly satisfied – Tsk,tsk,iar filler question.
53) Had amazing friends – Asta sa fie upgrade-ul de la “good friends”? Toata lumea si-ar trece aici marea iubire.
54) Danced with a stranger in a foreign country ! – Doar cu lupii,pe melodia “You’re Beautiful” a lui James Blunt si pe “The Scientist” de la Coldplay. AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.
55) Watched wild whales – Vezi intrebarea cu delfini.
56) Stolen a sign – Am cuvinte obscene pe unul,deci aia care l-au pus acolo “si-au furat-o” oricum.
57) Backpacked in Europe – Da,sunt sigur ca am impachetat un rucsac prin Europa,chiar daca nu era al meu.
58) Taken a road-trip – si mi-am prins piciorul intr-o capcana in Mraconia.
59) Rock climbing – Spiderman ar rosi.
60) Lied to foreign government’s official in that country to avoid notice – le-as intoarce favoarea oricand “guvernamentalilor”,da’ n-am apucat.
61) Midnight walk on the beach – banal.
62) Sky diving – scump.
63) Visited Ireland – baruri cu specific.
64) Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love – Balanta inclina vanjos spre “da”.
65) In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them – de obicei cu betivani,dar cateodata si cu oameni pusi pe taclale.
66) Visited Japan – I’D FUCKING WISH!
67) Benchpressed your own weight – expresie cretina,tampita si idioata. Maricelo,tu ai facut asta?
68) Milked a cow – Nuu.
69) Alphabetized your records – Nu am decat doua,restul muzicii mele mi-a parvenit in mod ilegal.
70) Pretended to be a superhero – in baie oricine e supererou,macar ala cu puterea cantatului la dus.
71) Sung karaoke – oh,da. One of the funniest,most enjoyable things I’ve ever done. Am cantat “John the revelator” :)))
72) Lounged around in bed all day – nu chiar “all day”,pentru ca pe restul am dormit-o.
73) Posed nude in front of strangers – Pe scurt,daca ai dus-o la capat cu striptease-ul ala de mai devreme.
74) Scuba diving – useless daca nu am delfini cu care sa inot intr-un ocean albastru.
75) Got it on to “Let’s Get It On” by Marvin Gaye – ha? got it ON? Marvin GAYE?
76) Kissed in the rain – Doar ne-am uitat adanc in ochii celuilalt,dupa care am realizat ca ne era foame.
77) Played in the mud – basic,la mare.
78) Played in the rain – jucatul de-a “asista la impinsul lui Gadea in apa”.
79) Gone to a drive-in theater – Romania.
80) Done something you should regret, but don’t regret it – filler.
81) Visited the Great Wall of China – si m-am intors acasa dospit de mesaje subliminale.
82) Discovered that someone who’s not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog. – adica daca am un blog. Am.
83) Dropped Windows in favor of something better – vechiul banc cu Mac OS.
84) Started a business – I’m a hippie deep down inside.
85) Fallen in love and not had your heart broken – Pam paaam. Adica daca sunt intr-o relatie :))))))))) Cross.
86) Toured ancient sites – M-am plimbat pe campul de lupta in care cu cateva ore mai devreme se macelareau 2 ostiri de tigani,undeva in centrul Severinului.
87) Taken a martial arts class – am tras doar cu ochiul si am contribuit cu muzica japoneza.
88) Sword fought for the honor of a woman – cause chicks dig plastic swords.
89) Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight – unhealthy,I know.
90) Gotten engaged – here’s to NOT :))
91) Been in a movie – I’d like to be in a movie still.
92) Crashed a party – cu atitudinea poate.
93) Loved someone you shouldn’t have – iremediabil.
94) Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy – adica vrea sa stie daca sunt spaniol si ma adaptez la rolul de Jose Armando.
95) Gotten married – Capalnita,here we come.
96) Had sex at the office – sex at school would be even more interesting pentru voi,bagaciosilor.
97) Gone without food for 5 days – gone without sex for 50 days? si nu,foamea nu fac.
98) Made cookies from scratch – prajiturele de la zero. adica vrea sa stie carui sex apartin. Masculin,deci nu.
99) Won first prize in a costume contest – costumu’ lu’ Adam,partea inferioara,locul secund,dar publicul a ovationat.
100) Ridden a gondola in Venice – nu,dar am rasturnat o barca in Delta si am botezat o vaca “Gundula”.
101) Gotten a tattoo – intentionez sa-mi UMPLU bratele. Tot ce mai ramane e sa evit contactu vizual cu artistu’.
102) Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on – I found out that math class could turn me on. Everybody did at some point,some to great shame :))
103) Gotten divorced – daca nu e inainte de-a fi fost casatorit,degeaba.
104) Been on television news programs as an “expert” – deja exista “The Big Lebowski” pentru domeniul meu de expertiza.
105) Got flowers for no reason – leftover flowers.
106) Masturbated in a public place – I wouldn’t tell you even if I did.
107) Got so drunk you don’t remember anything – oricat de tare m-as imbata,imi amintesc duhoarea din gura.
108) Taken illegal drugs – De la un prieten din mana,si (nu) i le-am dat inapoi.
109) Performed on stage – sunt un performer born&bred.
110) Been to Las Vegas – Eram a treia roata de la caruta pe langa Nicolas Cage si Liz Shue.
111) Recorded music – in perioada in care credeam ca “pizda muie coaie MUIEEEEEE” este muzica :))
112) Eaten shark – nu sunt rechin,nu mananc rechini.
113) Had a one-night stand – poate a one-night stand-in pentru un coleg bolnav.
114) Gone to Thailand
115) Seen Siouxsie live – i-am vazut pe Nicolae Furdui Iancu and the Banshees
116) Bought a house – o casa in miniatura. si era cat pe ce sa cumpar discul “Marble House” de la the Knife,because of much anticipating.
117) Been in a combat zone – pac,pac. i LIVE in a combat zone.
118) Buried one/both of your parents – I’m in my 15’s.
119) Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off – the horror.
120) Been on a cruise ship – si am redecorat si pupa si prova cu voma.
121) Spoken more than one language fluently – multeeeeee.
122) Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone – da,sunt un aparator al dreptatii,moralitatii si prietenilor care si-o iau peste bot.
123) Bounced a check – Look,ma,bouncy checks.
124) Performed in Rocky Horror – In Romania e premiera abia luna asta.
125) Read – and understood – your credit report – slabe sanse sa inteleg.
126) Raised children. – piatra de incercare a umanitatii.
127) Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy. – Cocolino contrafacut.
128) Followed your favorite band/singer on tour – I would so stalk Tegan and Sara right now.
129) Created and named your own constellation of stars – Constelatia Valoare.
130) Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country – uite ca asta chiar am sa fac.
131) Found out something significant that your ancestors did – tetelu si-a rupt o mana incercand sa fure curent de la vecinu.
132) Called or written your Congress person – Romania.
133) Picked up and moved to another city to just start over – o data,prea mic,n-a fost un “start over” veritabil.
134) …more than once? – More than twice? -> Jeez.
135) Walked the Golden Gate Bridge – ala din Constanta?
136) Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking – I diiiid,I diid. In the car,on the street,under the car :)))
137) Had an abortion or your female partner did – The average male human being clicks on the “Abort” button thrice a day.
138) Had plastic surgery – ma intreb daca ar trebui sa-mi rog prietenii medici sa-mi opereze ratusca de plastic pentru ca nu mai canta.
139) Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived. – Dunare,clasa a 7-a. Baldabac.
140) Wrote articles for a large publication – well,not large,just full of large people :))
141) Lost over 100 pounds – cantaresc undeva pe la jumate.
142) Held someone while they were having a flashback – this is total nonsense. Nu sunt nici regizor ,nici Dumnezeu. De unde mama ma-sii sa stiu io cand are individu flashback.
143) Piloted an airplane – Sugar,we’re goin’ down!
144) Petted a stingray – nu cunosc.
145) Broken someone’s heart – Posibil?
146) Helped an animal give birth – And I failed.
147) Been fired or laid off from a job – No job,not EVER!
148) Won money on a T.V. game show – Teleeurobingo was overrated.
149) Broken a bone – The bone behind my eyelids.
150) Killed a human being – cand ma gandesc, unii prieteni au tendinta sa dispara pentru multa vreme,si ma gandesc ca or fi murit,deci ii omor in gand.
151) Gone on an African photo safari –
152) Ridden a motorcycle – No 😦 I lack a serious engine noise in my life.
153) Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100 mph – aaau,la viteza aia nu te dezintegrezi? Ca parca am vazut io un science-fiction.
154) Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced – adidasii,piercing cu pietricele.
155) Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol – pusca cu alice in tara minunilor.
156) Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild – nu ma risc nici cu psihedelice.
157) Ridden a horse – invers era mai interesant. “Esti mai armasar decat armasaru’?”
158) Had major surgery – I have a buba,doctor,please patch me up.
159) Had sex on a moving train – si care-i bancu? :)))
160) Had a snake as a pet – Locuiesc in Romania,nu intr-un campus de comedie americana.
161) Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon – avem si noi,romanii,un Grand Canyon. Va las pe voi sa descoperiti unde.
162) Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing – asta ar fi analog cu o situatie in care un coleg beat vine si se asaza in pat,adoarme,boraste pe perna iar dimineata ceilalti colegi ii fac fotografii gen CSI. “E mort?”
163) Slept for more than 30 hours – 15 e recordul absolut. Dar 30? :)) 30 e cea mai mare ofensa pe care as putea s-o aduc societatii. As putea incerca.
164) Visited lots of foreign countries – 3,una cvasi-ilegal.
165) Visited all 7 continents – sunt 7?
166) Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days – ba.
167) Eaten kangaroo meat – nici n-am incercat.
168) Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground – fallen in love with the Målay. Målayu romanesc.
169) Been a sperm or egg donor – Toata lumea se cearta pe oua in piata. No one would DONATE,trust me.
170) Eaten sushi – sarmale!
171) Had your picture in the newspaper – picture nu. But I’m a regular in the paper.
172) Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173) Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about – Daca imi pasa numai mie,atunci n-am nici o sansa,pentru ca nu ma asculta. Daca ii pasa si lui/ei,n-am nici o sansa,pentru ca vorbeste incontinuu.
174) Gotten someone fired for their actions – Again the job bonanza.
175) Gone back to school – Timp de 8 ani.
176) Parasailed -Uuuu,interesting
177) Changed your name – changed my game :>
178) Petted a cockroach – kinda useless,right?
179) Eaten fried green tomatoes. – Mcdonalds au cartofi rezistenti si numai d-aia mananc.
180) Read The Iliad – Tick. Era o obsesie a copilariei.
181) Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read – Mihaela Radulescu.
182) Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them – adica daca sunt roman.
183) …and gotten 86′ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you – niciodata un restaurant de 2 ori,pai trebuie sa va invat eu?
184) Taught yourself an art from scratch – Tenisul cu piciorul.
185) Killed and prepared an animal for eating – pacifist.
186) Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt – adica daca pui flori pe morminte.
187) Skipped all your school reunions – hahahahaha,that’s sick :))) ALL of them? Even those that have great food?
188) Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language – Cause words mean shit,dawg.
189) Been elected to public office – t’would be a disaster.
190) Written your own computer language – toata lumea ar astepta asta de la mine,ha.
191) Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream – and WHAT a dream it is.
192) Had to put someone you love into hospice care – and WHAT a dream it was.
193) Built your own PC from parts – de ce,daca tot o face altu’ in locul meu?
194) Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you – am incercat.
195) Had a booth at a street fair – I lack management skills.
196) Dyed your hair – Dyed your head chel,yes.
197) Been a DJ – Fiecare e,numai daca nu foloseste playlist in Winamp. Me,I fingerpick my songs.
198) Found out someone was going to dump you via LiveJournal – OH NO,the drama!
199) Written your own role playing game – D&D imi ajunge.
200) Been arrested. – No,they’ll never make this wabbit kick the bucket even if they’re vewy vewy quiet.
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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. shushu
    Oct 03, 2008 @ 19:12:09

    is 200,da!:))

    Reply

  2. Nick C.
    Oct 04, 2008 @ 11:41:32

    Intrebarile sunt clar desenate pentru un american. Si chiar pentru el sunt destul de tampite. Nu vad unde, cum si de ce unul din Minnesota sau Kentucky sa inoate cu delfinii !!! Cat despre sperma, toata viata am donat-o. E drept ca majoritatea primitoarelor n-au prea vrut sa o retina….
    Una peste alta, o treaba idioata. Singura parte buna e ca ai reusit sa faci ceva haios din ea.

    Reply

  3. buzzman
    Oct 26, 2008 @ 23:30:46

    Greets! Really amazing. keep working! Tnx! Saw!

    Reply

  4. buzzman
    Oct 28, 2008 @ 09:17:20

    Greets! Really funny. keep working! Tnx! Saw!

    Reply

  5. Trackback: Blog Okidochi.com
  6. Bogdan
    Jan 09, 2011 @ 22:02:43

    cititor zilnic al blogului….foarte incantat de ceea ce ai scris … tine-o tot asa multumesc

    Reply

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